Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Welp...herpes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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