Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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