I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
