In the future we'll all be gay
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
