This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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