We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
