Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm passing your future prison.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
