im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize