They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im holly from the hills drunk
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
