Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
