she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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