An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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