I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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