she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just forgot I was standing up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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