ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
