i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
