if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
