Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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