oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
