You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize