It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
