Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
