people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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