And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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