therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
