Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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