nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
