Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
