there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
