girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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