Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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