And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
