Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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