he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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