my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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