So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
