the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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