How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
