Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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