It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My vagina is officially offended.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
