The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
