he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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