Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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