Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
