Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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