I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
