ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
accomplished twins. life is a go
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Text me some of your sweat
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