Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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