I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
