Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
