Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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