awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
