Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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