everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize