some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
