She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
