I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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