so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
