We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
